Thursday, September 16, 2010

NUMB!!!

Lately all i have been feeling is pain, pain and more pain... I am going through the worst phase of my life!
I'm surrounded by problems... some of them with no solution at all! And no matter how positive, hopeful or happy i try to remain, different kinds of misery seem to crawl their way into my head from all directions at the same instant!!
The only good thing about this agonizing phase is that i've learned some important lessons in life...

Everybody will hurt you at one point or the other... and the closer they're to you, more painful it is to take... and no matter how much you love them or how much they love you, the pain is just NOT worth it!
In the past few days i have been lashed by many unkind words from the few people whom i have thought of as the most important ones in my life! So the TWO important lessons i learned from this is...
Don't get too affectionate or attached to anyone... be it your family, friends or spouse... they'll all let you down someday and you'll realize all you ever had for yourself was YOU!!

and....
NEVER ever think anybody else is more important than yourself!! NOBODY deserves that kinda attention or love!!
I know this might sound like bullshit right now... but believe me! when you actually go through what i've been through in the past few days, you'll agree with me all the way! I'm actually surprised with my ability to stay sane and not become cynical or skeptical about abstract emotions like love, kindness, etc... i still believe they exist! But i guess i'm just not fortunate enough to have these abstract emotions available unconditionally in my life! :-/

I can't believe that i've been so badly hurt that i'm actually looking forward to coming to work at this seriously boring and depressing workplace that i have detested all through my time here!! Bcoz... this is the one place where i get to forget about all other problems surrounding me since i already have countless issues waiting to be solved right here at my desk! :|

Anyway i hope this pain will end soon... or atleast i wish i become numb real soon!! For all you happy and cheerful people, sorry about this post.. I just had to vent out my emotions somewhere! And where better than my own blog page? :)

I hope i have not depressed any of you with this miserable post of mine! I promise i'll try to come up with something joyful, merry, positive and worth reading in my next post.. please forgive my need to whine just this once! :)

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I dont want to pretend that I know what you are going thru coz no one can.
Find a shoulder to cry on and let go

Listen to the lyrics if you can
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uelHwf8o7_U

Anonymous said...

This Too Shall Pass

If I can endure for this minute
Whatever is happening to me,
No matter how heavy my heart is
Or how dark the moment may be-

If I can remain calm and quiet
With all the world crashing about me,
Secure in the knowledge God loves me
When everyone else seems to doubt me-

If I can but keep on believing
What I know in my heart to be true,
That darkness will fade with the morning
And that this will pass away, too-

Then nothing in life can defeat me
For as long as this knowledge remains
I can suffer whatever is happening
For I know God will break all of the chains

That are binding me tight in the darkness
And trying to fill me with fear-
For there is no night without dawning
And I know that my morning is near.

...Helen Steiner Rice

Sangi said...

@Anonymous 1
Thank you so much for the song.. love that one! I'm feeling a lot better now :)

And welcome to my blog :D

Sangi said...

@Anonymous 2

Thanks for the wonderful inspiring poem.. i'm feeling much better now! :)

Btw.. thank you for visiting my page! :D

I can assure you my other posts are relatively very light hearted compared to this depressing one ;)

Archana said...

hey sangi,as u said this phase shall pass too. But, dont let it keep u from trusting and loving again. There is no feeling more liberating that caring for someone else and if they hurt you, eventually its their loss. Dont lose trust and remember there are always frenz around in the most unexected quarters.

Sangi said...

hey thank u so much archana.. that means a lot to me! :)
and yeah.. u're right! i cannot begin to lose hope coz of a few excruciating experiences.. and i haven't yet! Things are kinda settled now and i'm feeling much better!! :)

Anonymous said...

:(

Pranavam Ravikumar a.k.a. Kochuravi said...

good one!

Anonymous said...

In the end only your family will be there for you, no matter how much you hate them.Just let it pass.